Soaring on Wings

 Okay, so here is where I am totally honest and admit that being here, though it is wonderful to be with my girls and spend time with them, is really hard due to the expectations placed upon us as volunteers. Policies and politics are everywhere, even in an orphanage in Mexico.

Hmmm. I am rethinking my earlier thought that coming here for a year was perhaps maybe taking the easy way out in life, because right now I do not have any inclination of that at all. With Holy week coming up for Easter, we have a three week work period without any vacation days or breaks, especially since the kids are not in school. I guess I am just praying that I have strenght and perhaps more importantly patience to get through those three weeks, especially with being sick and all. It makes it a bit tougher to feel up beat and all.  Or perhaps I should just pray for stronger antibiotics…jajajaja. Who knows. Or maybe both.

I have also been reflecting a lot lately on the kids here, since there are so many and they are all so different with their own personalities and ways of thinking and working. Its really amazing to see. Perhaps we as humans do not understand truly how to love someone until we have our own children, for it is only then that a) we understand unconditional and true love, and b) that those of us who believe in God and all of that are able to understand just what faith means. So, in essence, maybe living out a fulfilled life is just having something to live for, that being your children. This is not to say that people without children do not possess the ability to love, just that there is some profound understanding of the concept of love upon finding yourself with children.

And also maybe that was a little off the deep end, but who knows. Just a thought.

So…….I have to sign off. Way too much to do and absolutely no time at all to do it, but isn’t that how it always goes?

Anyone have any good remedies to get rid of ear infections, besides antibiotics (since obviously they must not be very strong here…)

Jess

Just wanted to apologize for not having pics up recently. Its kind of a pain due to the fact that I dont have a cable for my camera, and all the computers here are too old to have the drive for the memory card, so we shall see. I will do my best to put pics up soon.

Otherwise life here is okay. It is super hot right about now, in the mid afternoon its very sunny and the 5:30pm run doesnt always seem so exciting, at least not for the first fifteen minutes or so.

Basketball will be over in a couple weeks, as Holy Week is coming, and summer activities have to get underway soon. Yikes. Planning has never been one of my strong points in life. Hope that changes really quick.

Looking for clothes donations, if anybody has any used but in good stuff shape they can part with. One of my girls, who is about a size 9 or so, has almost nothing as far as clothing is concerned. When I come back to the states in a couple months I am hoping to get some stuff together to get to her. And if I get enough, there is definitely always a need here, since some kids have family that bring them stuff and others dont.

Thanks for all your letters and mail and packages. I really appreciate it.

Love and miss you all,

J

Have to go serve breakfast to the kids in about five, so this will be quick, but just wanted to share a little story with you all.

Yesterday all the girls from the house and their encargadas walked to Mazatepec, which is about an hour walk down the highway from here. We arrived there just to pass the Sunday, and upon arriving at the top of the what would seem in Michigan to be a mountain, to enter the church, a woman with a bandaged hand came up to us. She asked us for help, as her spouse had just passed and she had 3 young kids at home to take care of. Since her hand was bad, she was not able to work. Me, seeing that I had not brought any money with me, told her that we had no money, and how sorry we were. My girls all felt really bad. They told the woman that they were all coming from an orphanage, and that neither they had any money to give her. She walked away. We entered the church there and one of my girls was even crying at the front of the church, since she felt so bad. I had to give her a hug and tell her there was nothing that we could do, since we had no money to give her. She said a prayer at the front of the church and we waiting for all the younger girls to leave the church. End of story, right? wrong.

After we had left the church, I pulled a peach out of my bag and offered it to one of my girls, who then wanted to go look for the lady and give it to her to take home. Rather, we decided, we could go get food for the woman, since the orphanage had sent lunch with us, and give it to her. Ironically, the woman was within sight, though she had left about half an hour before, and she followed us back to where they were serving lunch; tuna and tortillas and watermelon. We ended up bring her back a plate, and the girls director of the house even sent her home with extra, since not all the watermelon had been eaten by the girls. After an hour of chatting with her, she started to fall asleep, as she seemed pretty tired, and we had to start our walk back to Miacatlan anyways to arrive before the evening. We said good bye and on the way back home I just kept thinking of what big hearts these girls have to have nothing to themselves and to still want to give it all away. Puts us (and I mean me) to shame.

Makes me think of how we must live every moment of every day of our lives as an example of a giving and compassionate and loving person. Maybe you wont have to share Gods love through a message on a grand, ornate pulpit with a sounds system and blaring music. Maybe you just have to share your lunch with someone and talk to them about their kids and where they live and where they are from. Maybe you just have to be nice.

hello

the storm here we have tonite is gorgeous and it finally brought some cool weather. it was soooo hot today, its a relief to be able to have some cool fresh air to sleep.

just got back from hondruas and the trip, even though it was short, was really wonderful. thanks to everyone that wrote me letters. i went out and bought page protectors and i now have them all up on my walls, to decorate and add a bit to my room. and also to remind me of everyone at home that i miss. thanks again.

after i got back today my girls gave me a skirt they had bought me, and it was pretty expensive. they are so giving. i asked them why and their response was just because we get along well, so they bought me it. someday i will have to find a way to figure out all who it was and do something nice for them. it was super heart warming and touching.

i am exhausted, sorry. i need to go to sleep. updates later to come, and pics from hondruas too!

goodnite.

jess

It sounds like you are learning a lot of valuable lessons. Maybe you could use some of those skills when you get home. Maybe your sister could help you with the hair issues and you could help her with the other issues. I also could not handle the no coffee thing either.   Lou

1. How to check for lice.

2. How 15 year old girls will play you like a fiddle.

3. How to clean anything and everything.

4. How it is possible to have everything you own fit in a suitcase.

5. How it is possible to live off of 40.00 USD a month.

6. How to do all types of first aid…

7. How to live without much coffee.

So lately I have just been working and such, and I apologize for lack of updates. Its been kind of hard to get on the computer as of late, being that its community and such, and usually every time I try to sneak into the sala to hop on it, it seems to be already occupied. Just the luck I have, and sicne i work until late at night, I usually dont have the energy to get on after that. Id often rather just go to bed. hahaha. hope my apologies are accepted. Hence, when coming back to the states, I am looking into a laptop. But well see.

My girls here are wonderful and I love them to pieces. Just the other day one of my girls was telling me about her boy drama in her life, and she asked me to tell her a story about one of my old boyfreinds. It hit me there that her mom should and could be doing that, whichever the case may be. But at the same time it was a great privilege to hear her confide to me that she in fact did have a huge crush on a boy in her class and all the details that 14 years old girls will tell. I had forgotten that teasing or ignoring someone meant that you were interested in them, I guess…hahaha. It has come about however, that he said she was ugly, upon hearing about her crush, so of course she came to me again to talk about it. She is a beautiful girl, so of course the boy is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I was again grateful that she can confide in me and tell me things like that. SHe is a super sweet girl and I must admit that I rather enjoy being a stand in mom for the girls when it is possible, or when they allow me to do so.

And I also tried to help one of my girls iron her hair the other day, to which I got a dissaproving look. HAHAHA. My little sister would be able to appreciate that. Of course, I have no idea how to do hair or make up since I dont even do my own, but apparently I must learn how to iron hair during my stay here, since I apparently lack the ability. She just plugged the iron right back in and asked someone else to help her do it. What can I say, I dont have the patience to iron every single little piece over and over again until it is perfectly straight. Especially not with the thickness of the hair they have here! Id be there all night.

Flying out to Honduras on the 12th of the month for a mission trip and taking some vacation. SO definately will not be able to update for 6 or so days. But I will as soon as I get back.

Basketball is rather stressful, but hopefully it will soon get better. I love working with the girls and activity planning is going okay so far. THe summer will be crazy and hectic and probably make me insane, but I am really trying to do work for it now and not procrastinate so much. Ha. Well see. I said the same thing in Grad school, yet still found myself writing papers the night before for many and all of my classes.

Well, must be off to serve breakfast at ten, but I promise to try and keep this more up to date. Pictures soon to be added as well. God bless and thanks for reading

Jess

well, i havent been able to update lately, so this might be a novel…just fyi.

hmm….

last week i had to host a family night, which was really cool. basically the idea is to take kids in the house here that are family and take them out to a special dinner so that they are able to spend time together, since their whole day is otherwise planned and it is rather hard to do.  so, i had two girls that are sisters here, and we made our own little pizzas out of tortillas and tomato puree and pineapple, which actually turned out pretty darn good, especially for having to switch gears at the last minute and having no where really to cook them. but all went well. we then took them down to the pooside here to eat, since there are little tables, and we just sat and chatted. their story was very sad, but they talked about it like it was nothing. their brother was killed some years back and they were raised by their grandparents. after the death of their grandfather, they were brought here to the house due to the fact that their grandmother was unable to care for them.  they told me that they were just trying to move on everyday and make the best of the situation. they are two very beautiful and wonderful kids, and it was awesome to spend the afternoon with them, even if the stories were sad. it is amazing to see how fast a lot of the kids here have grown up, as some have been living a whole different life than any child in the states. some start to use and drink and whatever at the age of ten and eleven, and believe it or not, its commonplace here in some situations. however, the night ended with hugs and smiles, and it was really good to get to know them. i am very glad that i did it, even if it seemed at first that it was bound to crash. very good experience. for sure.

i am now coaching the basketball team for the young ladies here, which is super interesting considering that i have not been a b-ball coach in about 5 years or so. and not only that, but the mindset here about sports is very different, i mean its not like they are competing to go to varsity districts or anything like that, which is the only way that i myself have ever coached or been coached, with a tangible goal in mind. therefore, it is always interesting. there has to be other forms of motivation for them, which i am still yet to find. there are about 20 or 25 girls that are participating, depending on the day and if they are already registered for other activities, and so far so good. we usually scrimage, learn one rule a day and try to apply it, and just try and have fun all the while. and we cut out the running of laps, since we all run at least a half hour a day anyways.

this weekend i had my bi monthly weekend off, which was nice, but i did not get to sleep very much..hahaha. on friday i went to a restaurant and met some friends for dancing. the music was both live and lively, and it proved to be a nice night. on saturday some friends and i from my church went to a valentines day party at a local church that was hawaiian themed. admitedly so, it was a little long, but it turned out all right. i didnt know much of the others there, but it was nice to hang out with my old friends. afterwards we went out for tortas and such before heading home for the night, and that was pretty cool. here valentines day is more about friendship than romantic love, and as such, it was very nice to spend the night with two of my friends. very cool. there is always other days when i can dance, i suppose.

on sunday went back to the church here that i used to attend, and the music was so so so so so so wonderful. i wish i could go every week, but every other will have to do. i wasnt able to stay for the whole entire service, as i met another for lunch at this wondeful little cafe where we ate tuna and lettuce (yay!! i miss it very very much) and i drank sweetened coffee for the first time in a while. it was a nice relaxing lunch, though i did get quite sunburned sitting and chatting. afterwards we walked around town and did some light shopping, which was afterwards followed by finding my friends from church and joining him for dinner at his house. he has this lovely house and is a great cook, so i must admit that i ate rather well this weekend! he made gorditas out of arabic bread with cheese and beans….mmmmmm…and they were cooked in oil, so not good for you but definately good!!!!! hahaha. he asked if his cooking skills made him an eligible bachelor, and i let him know if he cooks like that for his future spouse im sure she would be thrilled…..hahaha….

well, i have to get back to work, and i hope this isnt too long, ill keep trying to update little by little, rather than leaving novels.

send mail! (pleeeeeeeeeeeease.) hahaha.

Love,

jess

got a chance today to upload, so I did. check out the link that says new as of Feb. 5.

There are definately not ALL the pictues I have, actually they are not most of them, but I have to not be a hog of the  community computer, so I downloaded some of the best ones. Enjoy and thanks for reading,

Jess

   Last night we had the birthday dinner for all those who had birthdays in January, and the food was so good. We had sopes and ice cream and cake. My stomach hates me for it now, but it was worth it.  The kids all got gifts, like flip-flops and shampoo, lotion, mirrors, backpacks, or other things. They definitely are different than gifts that young kids would get here for their birthday, but the kids were still super happy to get them. I sat across from a seven year old boy who got lotion, shampoo, gel, a brush, and flip-flops. It was weird to see kids getting those things for their birthday, but it was still a wonderful party and the kids were all so happy!!!!

Well,  I am off to finish valentines. I am making 30 by hand for my girls, but I have to make them all different to avoid fighting. Hahaha. I am super excited cuz I have little barrets ( I dont know how to spell that, sorry) that I bought at the local market!! Here it is more about friendship day, less than romance. I am excited for it to come

Okay, well off to make valentines,

Con Carino,

Yessika

Just wanted to update, since I havent in a couple days. Again, excuse the poor puncuation.

The other day I picked corn with my girls in the ocampo and got burnt. haha. big surprise, but actually i really enjoyed it. i love to work outside and it was good to get up and do something physical. the kids go and gather and pick the corn in order to make the tortillas for the whole house. its a pretty good system and the kids here are super disciplined and just awesome awesomely responsible people.

last night we played volleyball with waterballoons filled with paint. it was super fun and super dirty, but definately worth wasting an old tshirt. the boys here thought they had to ´protect´ me from the balloons, so the lady wouldnt get hurt…hahahaha. chivalry still exists here in both good and bad forms.

hmmm..what else. i got a letter yesterday and i was super excited!!!! i sent one back, but it will probably take FOREVER to arrive, but hey, such is the Mexican mail system….

Ill be putting up more pictures later.. just give me time.

Went to my old church on Sunday and it was AMAZING. I had forgotten how much i truly truly miss that church and all the people there. i love the music, the service, everything. semilla cuerna…i wish i could go every Sunday, but i only have every other weekend off. boo. but hey, i can deal.

well someone else is waiting for the computer, seems perhaps i should look into trying to get one soon, since its kinda hard to load pics and communicate otherwise. well see….hahahha…..

luv,

jess

I was just rebuked by my dearest friend Stephi for trying to wear flip flops and socks to avoid getting my feet dirty after spending a good chunk of time this morning getting them nice and clean! Apparently in Germany it is not something one should EVER do, as she told me…

“No. Please…it looks so….NOOOOOO. The children want to eat”.

So apparently it was bad enough to detur one´s appetite. Hahahaha.

If anyone would be interested, I would be super interested in receiving mail from anyone at home. I know it might be a bit more expensive than sending it in the states…I believe about a dollar and thirty cents for a letter, but I just thought I´d ask. There is a volunteer mail box here, and it is just so cool when people get pictures and letters from home! Not to be silly, but my room is looking rather stark with nothing on the walls, and pictures of people from home would be awesome :)

If anyone is interested, the address is:

Jessica Goddard
c/o NPH Volunteer Program
Apdo. Postal 333
62000 Cuernavaca
Morelos, Mexico

Hahaha. That is my one request for the week, lol.

luv,

Jess

pictures are up! check the link on the side of my page that reads new since jan 29th! there are a ton, and the pictures of the room are up, but i dont know on what page! theres a ton there! enjoy!

hello everybody!!!!

 just wanted to update real quick, since i didnt do so last night. yesterday i worked with primeros, which are about 6th or 7th grade girls. i had forgotten how girls that age were, hahaha. they were so funny before bed after prayers, they just kept fighting about who broke a bucket and who didnt…and it went on and on and on…..hahahaha.

yesterday all the encargados (or care takers) and volunteers played paint volleyball. no manches. water balloons full of paint and water. one of the volunteers was absolutely covered in green paint. even today his elbows are still green, haha. but it was fun to watch, tho i must admit that i was afraid to be painted and stained…i ran when one of the encargadas threw a balloon at me. just like a girl.

i am thinking about working with either late elementary or 8th grade girls. but im still torn between the two. i have to pick by tomorrow, but i have to start thinking about it more seriously. i wish i could work with both groups, but i have to choose.

i have been asked about my daily schedule, so i thought maybe i could share a bit on here.

8am-sweep (every morning the entire hacienda must be swept…and also in the afternoons…and the volunteers sweep during the morning. every sidewalk, curb, and cobble stone path)

9am-is usually when we have meetings..with the directors, with the encargados. every tuesday we meet with everyone at this time, as well as 8:30 at night with volunteers only

10am- this is when the kids recieve their second breakfast. we go at ten to help serve and help clean up afterwards…until about eleven or so. they eat a light breakfast in the morning, but this is their hot breakfast. i would get up early for the first breakfast at six am, but since i work as activity coordinator, i only work in the sections at night, or after lunch.

2pm- lunch. i go and sit with the section and eat with them, which i am working. afterwords, we go back to the dorms and the girls wash their uniforms for the next day of school…and hang them up to dry (it takes longer cuz they wash by hand).

3:30-4:30- homework and study time, in the comedor, where we help them with homework, or read if none of them want help.

4:30-5:30pm- each child must participate in a sport at this time, and i am thinking of helping out with basketball, since it is wanted that each child really, really learn a sport and become really good at it. there is volleyball, futbol (of course), and others, tho i cant think of them right now…

5:30-6:00pm- each girl has to run for half hour, in order to help with depression and also with fitness here, and me and Jana usually run with the girls (its a lot funner than runnning in the morning alone. ha). After running all the girls go to shower before dinner. (and me and Jana, too).

6:30pm- dinner, where we eat again with the sections and hang out with the girls. afterwards we return to the dorms with the girls and hang out there. they pray and read before bed every night. this is the fun or really stressful part, cuz its either gossip or the girls fighting..hahaha. but its all fun.

8pm- bed time. lights out and the girls all in bed, even if they are not asleep by then.

it changes on the weekends, as they dont have to get up early for school, but its not anything super interesting. also, i dont really know how my schedule with the coordinator will work, as i have yet to really begin, but it will be included in there somewhere. and then i will have to attend the activities that i plan at night, from 9-10pm, more or less. but all in all, it will all work out. its actually good to be busy here, especially if it involves passing time with the kids.

 today i cleaned my room and the floor was dirty. its so dusty here. ill be sneezing forever…hahaha…but no big.

well, i have a meeting coming up, so i should be going. pictures should be added tonight, as long as i get ahold of my friends computer. have a great day and god bless,

jessica

did not get online last night, i was too tired and all the volunteers went out for tacos, so by the time i got back at 10:30 or so i just wanted to go to bed.

yesterday i worked with mujeres A, or basically girls that are in fifth and sixth grade. it was really fun and the girls are awesome. the first thing we did yesterday was play soccer, and yes i played. without shoes. in a long flowy skirt…hahahaha. for about an hour in the sun. it was super fun, tho i think my feet need to get used to playing without shoes.

its really hot here during the day, but it is so much better than snow! during the day when the sun is out, its super warm…i think im slowly beginning to get a little bit of color..woo hoo…slowly but surely…

i talked to some friends in the states yesterday, which was super nice. i got to the comedor late for dinner, and it was super sweet. some of the girls with which i was working with the other day gave me some of their tortillas because there was none left. it was very sweet, and i took them because i was hungry..but only two…not all that they had.

so far i have eaten black beans for the past 3 meals. probably why i was so pumped to eat tacos last night…mmmm..with lime and salsa and a little bit of salt…so good.

today i am working with segundarios, which i think is about 7th grade, but im not entirely sure. they are in school today so i havent done much with them as of yet…well see

i would love to get good at soccer and keep running here. well see…..

umm think thats about it. pictures still to come later…sorry having trouble finding a computer where i can load them. thanks for reading,

jess

just finished my first day of work here in Miacatlan. I was dropped off early this morning and started around 9 am with breakfast…

today i worked with the chicas, or the first and second grade girls. haha. fun. and tiring. my day started early with a round of checking the girls for lice. not the most glamorous job around, but hey, it needed to be done. there are so many kids here it is of course necessary.

after spending the whole day with the group of girls, i really, really think they are the neatest little kids. they always want to share everything and at the end of the night they all told me thanks for coming to take care of them. its crazy. they are practically babies, at the age of five to seven, and they are so very responsible and adult like. every morning they get up early to do their chores and clean before going to school. they make their beds and hang their towels neatly each morning to dry. they hand wash all their clothes and help clean up after every meal. they say their prayers and such before every meal. the are kids and little adults all rolled into one. lord knows i dont think i knew how to sweep when i was that young, and these girls are here sweeping everyday and cleaning up after themselves. ha. i have college age friends who are still yet to pick up a broom and put it to any good use…hahahaha…..

tomorrow i will be going to work with another group, to try and find out which group i would ideally like to work in. i have no idea which i am going to pick, but i do know that i have a soft spot for little kids. even if they are a little crazy sometimes.

my first day here in miacatlan and it is just a reminder of where i am. although it is a happy place, it made me think this morning when they ran out of breakfast, and then lunch, and then for dinner we had rice pudding and milk. ha. if i dont drop some weight here God just doesnt want it to happen. rice and greens for lunch, and tortillas of course. the rice pudding for dinner was actually really good, just not used to having that for dinner i guess.

i wanted to post pics on here of where we live, but i have to find a better computer since i cant put my memory card in this desktop. but soon ill borrow one and try to load them. look for the update on the photobucket link. soon as i can i will.

i will also try to call the next time that i am able to do so. kind of not very convenient to do so from here. costly and the connection is often bad. once i get a notebook with skype on it i will be placing some calls….

hmm well im very tired and should go to sleep, but keep in touch and ill try to keep everyone posted.

God bless,

Jess

okay..lets see..

 if anyone wants to see pics , just look at the photo bucket option on this side of the page and click on more photos ——>

 ummm moving to miacatlan this weekend, getting all my stuff together, which is always super fun. re-packing, lol.

 took another volunteer to la estacion the other day, just to share it with him. we went early and helped serve and prepare breakfast. it was really nice….then we went over to the school and spent the day in the classrooms before walking around the barrio.

and since it has been made obvious to me that i did not explain myself well, i should explain here what im doing here right now. i will be working in an orphanage here for the course of a year as a volunteer. i will be working in a place called miacatlan, about an hour away from my last residence in mexico, cuernavaca. i will be full time activities coordinator for those here in the orphanage, which number 600 in all. there are also 200 or so high schoolers in another housing unit in cuernavaca. i will also be part time encargada, or care-giver, for the kids here. i have not chose what age or group i will be working with yet, but i will begin going through all the sections and groups on saturday morning. after the weekend, i will be able to choose with which children i am going to work. right now i have no idea, time will tell.

i am living and eating here in the orphanage, which is how the whole being a volunteer thing will work out for a year, and yes the orphanage is open to donations and such. it is also possible for people to come here and help out, and if anyone is interested i can put them in touch with my friend stephi, who is the visitors coordinator and has to do all the scheduling for that. thats not to say that i wouldnt be around, just that i wouldnt be able to organize visits…shes the go to girl for that….ummmmmmmmm hope you all are enjoying the fotos and such, and the blog…

 ill take more pictures of miacatlan when i get there, as right now i remain in cuernavaca for this last little bit.

god bless and nos vemos,

jessica

woke up this morning and yana made breakfast for us all very nice of her, and we also had chocolate cake for my 23rd birthday, lol.

just finished my first week in school, not too much thats super exciting there, really. verbs. accents. eh.

going out tonight to celebrate here in Cuernavaca con a mix of different people. Mexican friends and also other volunteers. Should be fun.

Am I really 23?? Where did all the time go??

Hmm, not really much to say here. Planning to go back to La Estacion on Tuesday to show it to another volunteer here who has never seen it (the school where I worked). Hopefully I can skip one day of classes for that. We´ll see. Sorry if this blog has bad grammar, its almost impossible to find all the puncuation on this keyboard.

KK,

Should probably go and run to try and get back in shape!

Yessika

just wanted to try to get on here to update some more… a lot has happened since the last post…

went to see the orphanage where i will be working and it is absolutely immense.  there are about 600 kids there that are of the education level of primary school to middle school. on sunday, it was visitors day and that was quite a sight. the kids that have families are able to visit with them for about 6 hours if they come to the orphanage. it was both sad and happy, though it was heartbreaking to see a 17 or so year old boy hugging his family and crying because he knew he would not see them for a while. they have visitors day twice a year, for those kids who cant see there families on weekends due to distance, so there are many that travel from far away.

have also been going to spanish class again. not my favorite, but its okay since my class basically consists of sitting and talking. one week to go with that….hope i am improving…

some of the kids here are so cool. the kid that i ate dinner with on my first night here has since become my every meal friend…if that makes sense. he is so very funny and sincere.  worried about me going back to the house after dinner, he told me all i needed was a rock….and then he went running away. when he came back, he had a rock that weighed about 5 or so pounds in his hand. he then told me all i had to do was wrap it in a handkerchief and carry it in my purse…and if anyone bothered me, i could just pull it out and beat them with it…hahahaha…and also that im not allowed to cut my nails, because they also serve as protection…hahahahhahahaha…very sincere and sweet, both him and his girlfriend…it was just humorous since the house is so close to the dining hall. good thing, cuz it would be quite heavy to carry such a thing in your purse for very long…

kk…catch up more later as life starts going faster, God bless,

Jess