Body Image

In regards to body image we do not see what is really there. This is so frustrating. Even in the middle of my recovery, I got first-hand experience in hearing what exactly I am missing in my view of myself. I can walk around my community, and tell you that I honestly believe most of those people are prettier, skinnier, and "better" than me. Well, tonight, talking with my roommates, I had enough of it. I usually keep those thoughts to myself, but I just started venting about WHY I hate my body: there is fat in places where I think it shouldn't be, my thighs are too fat, my hips too big, my stomach sticks out too much, my arms are huge, etc. I just went on ranting about what I saw. . . You know what happened, though? My friends were my mirrors. Where I pointed out fat, they saw nothing. Where I thought there was a blemish, they saw a normal person. I always thought that my roommates were skinnier than I was, but they tried on my clothes and they FIT them. I see them as being so much smaller and "better-shaped" than I am, but the truth is that we are the same. So, could this possibly mean that *I* am pretty? Skinny, perhaps? Can I be smaller than I truly see myself? My answer is: YES! And the same answer applies to you. The fact is, I see myself as huge------ it comes with the eating disordered mind set. but the truth is that I am not huge, and my physical body is actually beautiful! And that truth is for you, too!

I just want you all to know that what we see is not what is truly there! Our minds show our own image to be so distorted that we couldn't even see the truth if we tried! I am not through this by any means, but I honestly do not know if it ever 100% goes away. It is really sad, but it may possibly be a life-long struggle of not seeing ourselves as we truly are. BUT, there is hope! We can overcome this by reminding ourselves of the truths and listening to people who tell us the truth. Remember that what you see is not real. You are not ugly; you are not fat or huge. This is the truth, even when your mind (and Satan) tries to deceive you. You are beautiful, and you deserve to know that.

~ Regina ~